


Castiel

by Fandom_Stuff



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x19, Drinking, Sadness, carving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:34:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27536107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Stuff/pseuds/Fandom_Stuff
Summary: Dean carves Cas' name into the table.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Castiel
Kudos: 24





	Castiel

**Author's Note:**

> After 15x19 I just had to write this.

The bunker was quiet, more so than usual. It was different, knowing everyone was gone, that it was just him, Sam, and Jack left. He could feel exhaustion pulling at him, urging him to sleep. Sam had turned in a while ago, but Dean had stayed in the library nursing the last of his glass of whiskey.

Once that ran dry, he stumbled to the kitchen to find the six pack of beer he knew was sitting in the fridge. When he found it, he cracked open the first bottle and carried the rest back to the library where he collapsed into a chair and slowly drank the night away. 

He didn’t know when the idea struck him, but he knew it was fairly late. It just seemed like the right thing to do, and it was long overdue.

He pushed himself up from his chair, sending an empty beer bottle sliding across the floor, and made his way over to the other table. He paused for a second, the pounding of blood was loud in his ears but he took a deep breath and brought himself forward. 

He forced his hands not to shake. It was nearly impossible, with the alcohol causing his vision to blur in front of him, but he managed it, and he steadied his grip on the knife before he pressed it into the wood. It gave under the point of the blade and he carefully carved out the first letter. 

It was a slow process, but he was determined to get every letter perfect, to take his time, it was what Cas deserved. 

Time slipped away from him as he slaved over the seven letters, he had to pause after each one to take a drink because if he didn’t drink he would fall victim to tears and he couldn’t cry, not now. They had God to beat, and if things went their way, they might even get Cas back; tears were pointless.

It took him longer than it should have to write the name, he was certain that it was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, but eventually he carved the final letter and then stepped back to blow away the leftover pieces of wood, and there it sat, perfectly carved into the table. The name that should have been there from the start.

_ Castiel _

Dean liked the way the name looked beside the rest of them. It just seemed right, like the final piece of a puzzle was finally set in place, the whole picture was developed and everything was where it belonged. 

“You were our family, Cas,” Dean said quietly, his words were slightly slurred and he could feel the tears biting at the back of his eyelids. He took a swig of beer, only to find that the bottle was empty; he reached for another and tossed the empty one aside. “I never said it enough, but you were… and I-” He choked on his words and he took another drink to wash them down. “I-I love you too,” he sniffed and then nodded at the table before stumbling back over to another chair. 

When he tried to sit, he missed the chair by a long shot and collapsed on the floor next to his empty beer bottles. He couldn't bring himself to get up so he cradled an empty bottle under his head, and as his eyes began to close he knew he’d regret falling asleep on the floor in the morning, but he didn’t care, the five beers and a couple glasses of whiskey in his body made sure of that. The alcohol was numbing, it took away the pain, even just for the moment. 

“I love you too,” he slurred again, just before sleep finally overcame him. 


End file.
